Okay, so here’s what happened. I was channel surfing this weekend and found that my viewing choices boiled down to:
- Die Hard 2 – The one where Bruce Willis fights off a bunch of terrorists in an airport
- Lizzie McGuire – The Disney TV series, not the movie version
And, put your drink down before you read this otherwise you might spray it all over the place, I chose the latter.
Yeah, I know. Now you see what I mean by being in the wrong lane.
So I sat down and made a list of all those things that seem to indicate that I am turning into a thirteen year old girl. I seem to have a valid defense for each of these things, but when you add it all up, it’s kinda distressing.
And no, before you ask, I do not, do Not, do NOT like Princess Diaries. And I like the sequel even less. I think Anne Hathaway can be quite interesting in a good role, but this isn’t it.
- Lizzie McGuire: I don’t like Hilary Duff now, but I think she did have considerable charm when she still had her baby fat. I watch the show once in a while for the same reason that I watch Full House – it’s got a Pleasantville kind of feel to it. Kinda like HAHK for TV.
- Kelly Clarkson: I have, on occasion, sung along when her Walk Away plays on the radio. Although, in my defence, the video does involve grown men singing along with an enthusiasm that is entirely inappropriate given their age and plumbing.
- Teen rom-coms: I only like some of them, like Say Anything or 10 Things I Hate About You. I have, however, watched a distressingly large number of them, including Pretty in Pink.
So I’m trying to figure out what I could do to act my age and gender. The best idea I’ve come up with so far is to spend an entire day alternating between watching Akira Kurosawa and surfing for porn on the Net. If you have a better suggestion, please do let me know.
ps: Telling me to just give in to the inevitable and start listening to Vanessa Anne Hudgens doesn’t count as a suggestion.
pps: And no smirking about the fact that I actually know who Vanessa Anne Hudgens is either.
ppps: Okay, so it’s 31. At my age, I’m allowed an error term or two.