Boggarts beware!

No, not Humphrey. I mean Boggarts with two g’s, the magical creatures that will take the shape of that thing you fear the most. The method of banishment involves thinking of something funny, pointing your wand and saying Riddikulus! If none of this makes sense, you might want to borrow a set of Harry Potter books from somewhere and get cracking.

Now, in case this Boggart thingy isn’t fictitious and there is a ghost of a chance that it might pop out of your cupboard and scare the crap out of you, I suggest you watch Zulm Ki Hukumat at least once. It is an Indianized remake of The Godfather with Govinda in the Al Pacino role (playing a character called Pratap Corleone Kohli), Dharam-paaji in the Brando role and Paresh Rawal in what can only be called a critical value-addition to the script — a fake Swamiji who deals in drugs. He even has a disciple (Archana Puran Singh) dressed as a sadhvi who, when the situation necessitates an item song, will change into something that Cher might’ve discarded as being too trashy.

For best effects, watch it every week. You will radiate such an aura of induced ridiculousness that Boggarts will find some other cupboard to haunt. I’m guessing that Govinda in a gold jacket and a yellow waistcoat that has a huge heart symbol on its back might also work as a patronus.

ps: Oh, and by the way, Aamir Khan did a Godfather remake as well — I think it’s called Aatank Hi Aatank, and features him with slicked back hair and a cheroot in his mouth and looking like a brand ambassador for Isabgol. It might not work as well as Zulm Ku Hukumat but might serve in a pinch.

 

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One thought on “Boggarts beware!

  1. S says:

    I’ve never even heard of Zulm Ki Hukumat. But Govinda in a gold jacket? I’m sold! It’s not exactly Govinda with a heart of gold, as in Hero No. 1, but it’ll suffice. Seguing to the latter film, I’ll shamelessly admit to watching Sona Kitna Sona Hai for hours on end on repeat and not tire of it. It’s Govinda and Karishma’s raison d’etre if you ask me.

    And boo hahahaha “Aamir Khan as brand ambassador for Isabgol” about seals my daily-dose ‘con’ stip(ul)ation with the Cosmos. Aatank Hi Aatank indeed!

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