The Vadivelu Principle

Over the past few years, I have found myself gravitating towards the conclusion that any movie can be improved by the presence of Vadivelu in it. Examples (some of which I have mentioned in earlier blog posts and comments) include:

  • Wanted (the English version involving curving bullets and a curvier Angelina Jolie): Given how often the lead character gets beaten up, he could easily have been played by Vadivelu and given the moniker of Bullet Bhupati.
  • 7 aam Arivu: Surely Body Soda (Pokkiri) was Bodhidharma’s descendant?
  • The Harry Potter series: Snake Babu (Arya), the true heir of Slytherin. Think about it: when a dark wizard of Voldemort’s stature faces off against a teenager he is unable to kill, wouldn’t his first thought naturally be: Enna chinna pulla-thanama irukku?
  • Mission Impossible 4: The fate of the Anil Kapoor character is the epitome of vada pochche.
  • The Star Wars series: Body Soda (Pokkiri) for Yoda or Kanduvetti “Terror Face” Karuppu (Kathavarayan) for Jabba the Hutt. Your choice.
  • The Fantastic Four: Admit it, Theeppori Thirumugam (Englishkkaran) would’ve kicked Johnny Storm’s butt.
  • King Kong: Bannerjee (Aadhavan). In his own words.
  • The Seven Samurai: Oh, come on, had it not been Toshiro Mifune playing Kikuchiyo, wouldn’t it have occurred to you as well?

I am yet to figure out how Citizen Kane can be improved. Given our man’s physical proportions, rosebud comes to mind. But beyond that, nothing. Ideas are welcome.

ps: Yes, I need therapy. Thank you for noticing.

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15 thoughts on “The Vadivelu Principle

    • Not a job offer I’d turn down. And given how the man has fallen out of favour thanks to his political stance during the recent elections, his best option might be onsite, as you put it.

      Obama-alavula famous aagapporaan paaru da.

    • Nice one! I had thought of Alert Aarumugam for the Robert DeNiro role in The Score, but this would work as well.

      Chinna Bagawathi for Michael Corleone?

      ps: This is getting out of control 🙂

  1. Hahaha but I have a feeling you give Vadivelu too much credit.

    The man truly made for this kinda job is probably Gounder. The kind of irreverence associated with his oeuvre can be applied to most fuckall films and a lot of joy can be extracted from the most hopeless of films. A bit like how some nonsense films of 80s had god level Raaja music.

    A list on that would be a post by itself. But on a side note, I’ve found that the Gounder canon coupled with Kamal’s comedies are a separate pop culture of their own. Between them they cover almost every aspect of life and I (and my friends) find Gounder and Crazy Mohan lines’ immensely quotable.

    For example, there is immense potential in daily life for “konjam adjust pannikunga velakari!”

  2. Ramna>> Thanks, machi.

    Fing>> True. If he had also gotten Body Soda to pitch in, it would’ve been a no contest.

    I was also imagining Kill Bill Vol. 2 with a chapter called The Cruel Tutelage of Body Soda. Obviously, this begs the question “Cruel to whom?” To which the answer is: “Yaarukko.”

  3. yamsivam says:

    For some reason I feel vaidvelu would’ve the perfect joker. talk about #meta identities and surprising the audience 😀 #1Stone2Mangoes

  4. I exactly understood half the post because I rarely watch films outside of Tamil. IMHO, the success of vadivelu is due to the clever mix of slapstick comedy with an anecdote that you would except in a stand-up humor.

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