Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Middle East…

Wise Man 2: You had one job. One. Job.

Wise Man 3: Sorry

Wise Man 2: How difficult could it have been? I remember specifically asking you to get fleece pyjamas. I distinctly remember the feeling of my lips moving when I said that to you. Fleece pyjamas. How hard can it be to get? And what do you get instead? This. What is this anyway?

Wise Man 3: Myrrh

Wise Man 1: What’s myrrh?

Wise Man 2: Myrrh? Really?

Wise Man 3: Oh please, you got frankincense!

Wise Man 2: Come on! We’re visiting a manger. Anything with the word incense in it, she’s gonna love.

Wise Man 3: Still. You gave him a simple enough job to do. There’s always some gold lying around the house, so he just had to scoop some up and gift wrap it. You just raided your frou frou cupboard and got done with your job. I had to drive all the way to the store, and my camel had starting trouble. You know how that happens.

Wise Man 2: You could’ve sent someone.

Wise Man 3: It wouldn’t have felt personal.

Wise Man 2: And myrrh feels personal?

Wise Man 1: What’s myrrh?

Wise Man 2: You could’ve improvised. Found a nice quilt, maybe.

Wise Man 3: It didn’t occur to me.

Wise Man 2: Of course it didn’t!

Wise Man 3: Oh, come on! Are you gonna keep going on about it all night long? We have a long way to go

.Wise Man 2: All right, let’s get going. <under his breath> Myrrh indeed!

Wise Man 1: Got any wine? For the road?

Wise Man 2: You wanna drink and drive?

Wise Man 1: Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport! Do you see much traffic this time of the night?

Wise Man 3: I’ve got water.

Wise Man 2: Not the same thing as wine, is it? Good thinking, though. We’re bound to get dehydrated.

Wise Man 3: <pleased at having been seen to do something right>

Wise Man 1: We could stop at Cana. It’s on the way, and there’s this guy over there with an incredible wine cellar.

Wise Man 3: Yeah, I know, right! We were there for a feast the other day and he served this divine Merlot…

Wise Man 2: Yeah, I remember. I meant to ask him where he got it from. He’s a bit of a miser with his stock, though. I’ve never been to a party at his place where the wine didn’t run out. And he keeps making excuses about how his cellar is empty.

Wise Man 3: Yeah, he does that. Then again, if I had wine like that stored up, I’d want a few barrels left for when I want to put my feet up on a Friday night. Not spend it all on the guests.

Wise Man 1: You’ve got a point. 

Wise Man 2: All right, let’s get cracking. Where’s the star we’re supposed to follow? That one?

Wise Man 1: Yeah. You’re the navigator. Let’s go.

Wise Man 3: Are we supposed to say something when we get there?

Wise Man 2: Yeah. Congratulations! What an adorable baby! What have you decided to name him? Haven’t you done this before?

Wise Man 3: I have, but congratulations sounds a little, well, underpowered for the occasion, doesn’t it?

Wise Man 2: It does, yeah. But we’re gonna get to wherever that star tells us, and then ask around for the King of the Jews. When you’re calling the kid a king to begin with, congratulations will do just fine after that.

Wise Man 1: Yeah, don’t over think this.

Wise Man 2: And we’re taking gifts, so it’s fine. Gold, and frankincense and, well, whatever Mr Euclid here decided to get.

Wise Man 3: You just HAD to bring it up one more time, didn’t you? Nag, nag, nag…

Wise Man 1: What’s myrrh?

One thought on “Wisecracking

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